Tuesday, April 9, 2013

GI Joe Retaliation General Joe Colton

Presenting General Joe Colton from the GI Joe Retaliation toy-line.

I've always wanted a Bruce Willis action figure ever since I watched the first "Die Hard", so when the GI Joe franchise actually made a Bruce Willis action figure, I just had to have it.

Off the bat, I can't say that I'm happy that a full fledged General (Retired or not), the original GI Joe from where the GI Joe team got it's name, General Joe Colton himself, would stoop to take orders from a lowly Sergeant First Class (Nor for that matter, why a First Lieutenant - Lady Jaye - and a Warrant Officer - Flint - were taking orders from Roadblock - but then again he's quite an imposing figure).

Still it was nice that they actually made a Bruce Willis Action figure.

The GI Joe Retaliation General Joe Colton blister card reads: "Joe Colton is the original GI Joe hero. He returns to action in the nick of time as the GI Joe team fights off evil Cobra forces. Incredibly brave and strong, Joe Colton blasts the enemy with his own mighty arsenal, including a rapid-fire four-barreled missile launcher!"

We should probably point out at this point that General Joe Colton never appeared in this uniform during the GI Joe Retaliation movie. His get-up - white t-shirt with a shoulder holster - is probably more of a nod to his appearance in the Die Hard Series.

What's to like about GI Joe Retaliation's General Joe Colton?

It's Bruce Willis! And probably because it's Bruce Willis and his standards were through the roof, Hasbro decided to pull no stops when it comes to his articulation. General Joe Colton. Joe Colton has the full articulation that we've all grown to love from the Pursuit of Cobra and 30th Anniversary figures.

In simpler terms, his articulation is waaay better than anything that we've reviewed from the GI Joe Retaliation toy-line. Joe Colton has the wrist articulation from the POC line allowing for greater poseability and his feet can actually move - making him a fresh relief from the Retaliation line. 

I have a feeling that Bruce  Willis - or his management - had a say in the production of this figure and they wanted him to be something special.

The General Joe Colton action figure comes with all you see here:

This includes a Tactical Shotgun, a small 9mm pistol, a 357 magnum, a  removable shoulder holster with a small pistol in it that cannot be removed, and an ORANGE gun that resembles an automatic grenade launcher that the rapid-fire four-barreled missile launcher can be attached to. The missile launcher is activated  via that rip-cord, pulling it spins the barrel and releases the missiles quite rapidly. You can also just turn the barrel manually to launch the missiles one-by-one. 

And as mentioned Joe Colton's articulation is excellent:

Here is Colton with his pistols. Again note the great poseability and the removable shoulder holster:

What's NOT to like about the GI Joe Retaliation General Joe Colton?

Let's bring out the white elephant in the room: while the detailing and the semblance to Bruce Willis is excellent (Note how it actually looks like he's sweating? SOOOO Die Hard), his eyes are not. In fact they're down right disturbing. 

Yes not only is Joe Colton kinda creepy looking, he's also slightly cross-eyed. 

There's also some articulation lost to the shoulder holster and it's really a disappointment that the pistol in the holster cannot be removed. But note how the holster actually has a snake-skin texture? Really cool!

Then of course there's that Orange colored rifle and the missile launcher. Why Orange? Why bother painting the damn thing Orange? Is Hasbro afraid that we'd try to use the gun to hold-up a liquor store?

Then of course there's that missile launcher that Joe Colton can barely carry. Don't even bother.

This particular GI Joe General Joe Colton was purchased through Amazon for US$ 15.98 plus roughly US$ 10 in shipping (Roughly PhP 1,055). It's a must have despite the weird eyes for both GI Joe collectors and Bruce Willis fans.

Yippie Kai-Yay Mother F&*#ers!!!!!


  1. A nice, solid Bruce Willis action figure. I'll be glad when I get my mitts on one.

    Also, those are some quality photos you have taken.

  2. Thanks! It was difficult because of his creepy eyes:)


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